Comfortable Shoes--- Books Not Boys

Lying in bed not able to fall asleep is a dangerous thing for me. My head is spinning like a roulette table. Where the ball lands nobody knows and only trouble will ensue. I need to just learn to grab a book and read a few pages instead of my phone. It only leads to stalking lost loves and old crushes.

Which then leads me to accidentally sending a video  chat request a 2: 30 am. How come there isn't a in case you're stalking an old crush disable all chat capabilities settings for when your phone slips out of your hand and you won't push a chat button by mistake, Goggle? My lighting speed reactions couldn't stop this snafu. Because now all of a sudden my phone is no longer super sensitive to my touch. No matter how I panickly hit the red cancel button for this request the phone just isn't going to respond. Also, just so you know hitting the back button in this instance doesn't cancel it either, as I cleverly thought would rectify the situation. So there I am almost  3 am thinking damn I just got caught and now try sleeping on that. Constantly thinking what if I set his phone off. Maybe he doesn't have goggle hangouts open on his phone. So maybe, it was sent to his email, no harm right? Ok I'll just send something in the morning apologizing, to stop him from thinking I'm so far deranged and crazy, and can't leave him alone that I think a 2 am video chat request is acceptable.

After my eyelids have finally grown heavy and I'm starting my new day I send an email explaining my unintentional late night actions. 'Click,  and just like me as I hit send, what if he never got any notice at all because he doesn't use hangouts on any of his devices and I just told on myself. Then I start romanticizing. What if, my snafu was a blessing in disguise and now he knows I'm available and maybe still interested and he's single and to make a grand gesture he's going to just show up wherever I am to confess how much he's a jack ass for not noticing how perfect a mate I would be and have a ring. 'Snap Snap!' Andria, one life is not like a romcom , two, you don't like surprises, and three, you already know you are going to die alone and penniless.  Though there is hope maybe not penniless if I just leave them boys alone.

Don't Call It Insomnia

Insomnia, that one word you can use and get sympathy for being up late last night. Night owl on the other hand, not as much. I am a night owl. I will own it with every fiber of my being. I will never get sympathy or empathy for my infliction, unless maybe among other nite owls. I was once ashamed even tried to claim insomnia. Reading up on symptoms, thinking this and this is true for me, so it must be . But to be honest with myself and others, simply put when I finally make myself go to bed and once all snuggled in I quickly fall fast asleep.  There are rare times I legitimately can claim insomnia, where I'm tossing and turning about with no success of sleep. And even then I claim being a nite owl without abandon. I'm still jealous of those who can go to bed at a decent time and wake up in the morning refreshed, doe eyed and ready for that worm. Don't worry I don't want your worm or to be an early bird. But a consistent daily 8 hours of sleep I long for. To be able to crawl out of my bed before noon on my days off and actually get in more hours of being productive before bedtime.

Now being an nite owl doesn't necessarily mean you're irresponsible and can't be bothered to put yourself to bed on a schedule.  However I also cant say there isn't a lack of self discipline involved. But we all are not running around at night causing chaos. Sometimes its about exploring and curiosity of what happens when most are asleep. Other times its harder to shut down when there is much going on in our brains  and we crave/need to figure it out to before going to bed or else we'll lose it forever. Just one more splash of paint, what if I move it over here or change that. 30 more minutes on this piece and then I can go to bed. Ok 1:30 am I'll got to bed and I can at least get 5 hours of sleep before I have to wake up.

Now are all night owls creative? Yes, and I do mean all not some, or most, or few, but ALL. Can you be creative and not a nite owl, yes. But be a nite owl and not a creative, surely not. Take a listen. Creative as an adjective. Having or showing an ability to make new things or think of new ideas. Using the ability to make or think of new things : involving the process by which new ideas, stories, etc., are created. Done in an unusual and often dishonest way. I don't know if I agree with the  last definition. I mean often... OFTEN dishonest way. Really Webster's you're going to throw some shade like that. Maybe we are out at night creating chaos. For me, to be clear being creative isn't just artists, designers or makers, but scientist, mathematicians, engineers. Being a nite owl is constantly being flooded with ideas always wanting to be be stimulated to get new ideas. So with this constant creative brain always going with the natural chaos of the way of the world during the day. Constantly interrupted of our thoughts to daily task that is required of us. Cause hey, no one is going to pay me so I can sit around and figure out how I can display my cinemagraphs in a frame. We actually have to making a living somehow and that usually is by working for someone else. Which leaves what we truly want to do at night. At night I am left to the quiet of my thoughts. I am able to create without interruption.

 And who then wants to go to bed when you're in a mist of a creative breakthrough?